Have you ever felt how motivation suddenly gives up on you and all you do is just stare at its face and lose yourself in the process? I am confused at how I seem to be so much different than the person I was before. Self-deteriorating. Gradually. And I didn't even seem to care. But there was just this one day this week when I knew perfectly that I should start jumping my butt off because there are just about so many things that pass. So many opportunities that were left unopened. "Robbin, you're being very lax with your studies," said a professor who knew me well and whom I secretly know (modesty aside) was really proud of me last school year. I knew perfectly that I just needed that one shot of confirmation that I'm being pretty complacent with everything. Messing up is NOT equivalent to BEING all messed up.
It is also okay to smile (maybe even so randomly, you'd seem to be on E) -- it is okay to admit you just honestly like being in this twisted world, no matter how cruel, judgmental, angry, or dangerous it can be.
It took me 7 months of gradually losing that strength. A month and a half to slowly gain it back, and 5 days to finally feel it creeping back into me.
♥
Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.
-St. Francis de Sales
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