My head is haunted by so many wishes and thoughts, accusations and reproaches. I’m not really conceited as so many people seem to think, I know my own faults and shortcomings better than anyone. But the difference is, I know I shall improve and have improved a great deal.
I am living a life of a saint. Perfectly well if you will excuse my slight disobedience to some things, and some minor deals. I am the perfect student: my life is from school and home, I don’t drink, never smoke, I accomplish stuffs at the given time, I study smartly, I never go out of the house (except when going out with my cousins!), I don’t party. I only go out the house when: (1) I’m with my parents, cousin, siblings, or any relative, (2) with a yaya. I have a dual personality. My deeper side will always be too quick for the lighter superficial side of me that’s why it will always win. Whenever there’ll be decision-making and all, the deeper side will always assess so deeply, that the outcome will always be good. Call me a perfectionist, but I know it won’t hurt to make mistakes. Even more, some so-called mistakes may even turn out to be wonderful and fun. But yeah, still, limitations are there. There is the side of me that is always so serious, will call your attention of things that goes on unfavorable, will be so frank to the point, won't even laugh at your green jokes and even call it lame. But then, there's also the side where I'll let you pass off with the joke no matter how lame-y it sounds and then automatically after that, a whole booze of laughter emerges, one who's not afraid of breaking some rules, not following the right way (but her own way), and will freely dance to a beat mine and mine alone, even unafraid of hitting the high note as crazily as I could. Whatever. Somehow, no matter what, there's always an invisible wall beneath our souls that hinders us to do things that doesn't subject to the affirmation of someone. And I guess, it's the time to crash those walls and be freely me. :)
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