(This didn't put me to sleep until 4AM because I want to write about it for posterity)

I never thought that a life's worth of lessons could be summed into one night, 9 minutes, and 500 seconds of eavesdropping.

It was past midnight when I was suddenly awakened by a voice that seemed like hushing but without hesitation, increasing its volume then instantly fainting in a matter of nanosecond. My hunger caught the best of me so I summoned myself to get-up in the face of my fright of hearing a strange voice. I wondered, “It could just be people outside. Wandering around.” As quiet as I can, I forced myself to leave my throne and go downstairs to see if there’s any food left in the kitchen. My senses were still drifting to dreamland as I tipped a toe to one flight of the stairs. “Nuggets,” said the unusual voice I heard. If there was one thing that would fully wake me up in that minute, it is the slightest mention of food. Similar to having a eureka moment, I stopped, eyes wide open, Goosebumps all over, waiting for another word the unusual voice would say. And louder, I am most certain, it was a lady’s voice that said: “Golden nuggets.” Something in me went very curious about the words I was hearing. It could either be talking of golden nuggets as food, or golden nuggets as morals. The former would surely satisfy my objective of getting out of bed. The tug-o-war between the two made me more curious as I saw my grandmother over the phone, possibly talking to one of my uncles as she mentioned his name. At such an unholy hour, what could they be talking about? Knowing Mama, she is a very conservative, refined, and traditional woman who would have been mistaken as Winnie Monsod if not for her glasses. Anyone who would knock on her room’s door must think twice before disturbing her peace. “You have to teach him the values…” Her voice went. "At the end of the day, it will still be yourself that you hold on to. It will still be you." Over and over, it was echoing in my ear like it was a pirated audio disc playing.

Eavesdropping was one thing my mother would always tell us not to do. To her it was invading other’s privacy, but at that moment, to me it was my chance to hear Mama’s private conversations. Mama has always portrayed herself as a school principal even at home. Maybe it was because her home is an extension from running her own academe. It would only be at that moment, when she thinks nobody would see her – could I see the real ‘Mama’ that she was. I was fully-awake and very eager to hear her succeeding remarks because for one, it was midnight, second, if it is not an important call – then I believe she wouldn’t even bother to get out of her room and talk to the person on the other line.

"This life is his..."

Knowing that it was my Uncle on the other line, I knew they were talking of my elder cousin, ****, since he’s the only guy from his children. Mixing my emotions: 1) I was excited 2) I was curious on what could be happening with **** 3) I was more excited on knowing the latest buzz within the family – firsthand. There was Mama, over the phone, unmasked with her usual aura. Now she looked like one of those regular grandmothers, though. Listening, I get to hear new tidbits on family matters that no one could even hear. And yes, I was just 14 years old. The excitement of hearing adults’ conversations catapulted I and eavesdropping into one body. First-hand, showbiz-like family entertainment. Or so I thought.

"He has to learn to be able to stand up on his own with all these values he has learned.. I made it on my own. I never wanted to seek help from others. I've always made it on my own, and of course, with the help of the One above." The talk delved onto a more serious tone. And after what I’ve just heard, my mind went completely blank. Like the only words that continually ring my head were those last phrases Mama said. It is true when scientists said that there will be a time when in a split-second, your life flashes before you.

“.. I made it on my own. I never wanted to seek help from others. I've always made it on my own, and of course, with the help of the One above." Thorough analysis on my perspective in life began that very midnight when I chose to disobey my mother and go on with what I felt would leave me blissfully deranged. But the joyful feeling was replaced with different philosophies and barged different questions on my beliefs, goals, and endless dreams. I may be stuck in the body of a teenager, but I surely became wiser than my years after that one unanticipated night of invading other’s privacy, my Mama’s thoughts.

As Maria said in the Sound of Music, “You are 17 going on 18, lady, it’s time to think.” I was 14 back then and I believe my mind designed itself to be wiser beyond my years. No wonder, at my age, people around me would always ask how I am handling my life. How everything is on its proper places. How everything is spic and span. How everything has a direction. How I could live on my own. And then to some, they would ask me how boring I have been living my life for 17 years.

The answer is quite simple: When you know what you want to do (and not to do) with your life, when you learn from other’s mistakes, when you set yourself long-range goals, and most of all, when you trust Him your life.. you start to have a clear direction, you spread yourself, you can do anything. ‘Impossible’ is nothing. Sacrificing some of your littlest desires and avoiding pitfalls could make a great deal. Independence at an early age makes you go far in this race. The roadblocks you encounter are actually just little rocks that trip you over and over again which make you realize how sweet your rewards are in the end. You don’t always have to commit mistakes and learn from them; learning from other’s mistakes has been my way of a healthy life. You can do everything on your own. I did it at 17, and I am just as surprised.

Yes. More than 500 seconds, 9 minutes, and one night – made all the difference. I guess in certain houses, golden nuggets just doesn’t only come handy when cooking. It could be the best thing that could happen to you.

In my house, it was.